V.E.P. at Antipolo

For the 'nth' time I attended a values enhancement program. My student-leader days was a chock-a-bloc of all sorts of such trainings--but I wasn't converted at all... (grin). Kidding aside, my three days with my newly found corporate family were able to move me to another world. It may seem stupid but I cried a lot during the training at Antipolo. I would have to admit that Sir Ted Lapus (our facilitator), was impressive. Aside from the very interesting activities that made us all mushy and whatever, his etymological prowess added fun and additional info. I was like taking a philosophy, psychology and English all at once.
Seriously, everyone is so emotional during the training. It's good to feel that everyone shared and opened up to the group, with the hope of complementing one another. I could not contain how overwhelming the feeling is. I could not forget the “love seat” activity where each of them would tell you positive things. It just reinstated the fact that nothing compares to encouraging and healthy words. I felt elated and appreciated. I believe that was the first time in my life that I’ve heard more than half an hour of positive remarks, that melted my heart: with no trace of sarcasm and deceit. How I wish more people would learn how to say nice things more often. Devil’s advocate: so why am I expecting something what I can’t practice? Anyway it’s beside the point. I have yet to see the ‘real’ effects of the training, to me and to everyone as well. I’m really optimistic about ‘us’, working as one team, supporting one another and working hard to succeed. Whether or not my values were enhanced, I’m taking the risk—trust my colleagues and do my part. Best wishes to OTP77!

Gettin' Better

Funny how people differ from one another. Yet it's true that most hate diversity. The uniqueness of others become the most hated characteristic. But I am so happy that my "strange" feeling yesterday because of my 'uniqueness', becomes the starting point for 'them' of liking me. What I exactly mean is that, a mass communication major penetrates with a bunch of business minds. Maybe I was trained to 'fit-in'. Well, whatever it is, I have proven that in order to blend in, one must be confident and true. Today we had fun as we started discovering interesting sides of everyone. At the moment we have plenty of doubts and fears, but hopefully we'll manage in time.

A starfish thrown into the desert...

Early to bed, early to rise... exactly what I did today. I reach the Bank of the Philippine Islands (main office) briefing room at exactly 8:10 in the morning. that means, I am 20 minutes earlier, which is not very me. Today August 25, 2005 is my first day as a trainee for an officership training program. Which would be my passport for a managerial stint after a couple of months. But it’s not as easy as it seems. As I sit in the briefing area, I noticed that everyone seems to know everyone. That leaves me alone and doubting my very presence. Young and old, male, female and the unknown (that icludes the weird looking and acting)—all of them in various warming up chit chats. Such scenario gives me so much questions about what is happening to me! I texted some friends and some mentors to comfort me… I told them that “hey it’s my first day and I feel left out”. Some gave me their best wishes… but one spelled something on my face in a question form: “like a fish out of the water?” And because of that, I suddenly felt a mixture of sadness and challenge. Am I really a specie out of my world?
I am an arts graduate. A communication major at that. Someone who loves performing, singing, acting, debating, and even getting noticed. Just where in the world can you find explanations that someone like me who loves creative work will be in a place or a ‘career’ should I say, that only the robots can endure?—the banking career. Well, I know this is unusual but certainly I am not the only person who makes career shifts for practical reasons. I know I would be unhappy because I will not do what I imagined doing after school, but I wouldn’t be happier being apathetic with my family’s financial needs (that includes mine of course). More over, with a lot of puzzlement from people around me, and sometimes those not so very encouraging reactions, suddenly I felt challenged.
Maybe they’re right, I’m a star and I should always be on the spot and not inside a desk checking ledgers and doing accounting… (sigh)… but I want to prove that life doesn’t always go the way we plan it. Honestly this isn’t in my ‘real’ goals. Being a banker is just like eating sweets with diabetes for me—suicide. But because of the challenge, I am taking it. Who knows, I might find joy in pushing myself to the limits. I’ll give the program a chance. I’ll do anything to survive the tough phases of the training and if I fail, I’ll gladly go back to my first love even if it entails a tightened budget.
A fish out of the water huh? Actually, I replied to the text message: “I am a starfish thrown into the desert.” After a few seconds came the reply: “I hope someone would pick you up to throw you again to the sea”. I smiled, I’m sad though… can anyone pick me up and bring me home to the sea?